The Gretsch Pages

Welcome to the Gretsch Pages

• Log in
• Register

Guitars And Women...

• 

  • Rated: 13 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 7:48 a.m. Catdaddy1967:

  Why do people seem to liken guitars to women? I really don't know. A friend was referring to his guitar as 'she' the other day, and I got thinking that there's less in common than you may think...

  1. A small solid guitar will not gradually expand into a large hollow-body over the years
  2. A guitar doesn't mind if you play other guitars, and there's no guilty feeling associated with exchanging your guitar for a younger, slimmer one
  3. Guitars don't answer back
  4. There are no laws against beating a guitar
  5. Guitars often look better when they've aged
  6. There's no need to stop playing a guitar for one week out of four.
  7. You can always turn a guitar's volume down
  8. You can lock a guitar in a closet without it complaining
  9. Callouses and blisters caused by playing with a guitar are regarded as a good thing
  10. When you wax certain parts of a guitar, it will stop squealing
• 

  • Rated: 41 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 10:32 a.m. bwallace1:

  well said ! you pose a very good arguement.brent
• 

  • Rated: 9 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 10:43 a.m. Devils_Tool:

  Because most guitar players are sexist pigs?

  LOL

  Just kidding.
• 

  • Rated: 34 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 11:45 a.m. Bernw:

  Actually that's very good Catdaddy1967!

  However - if you think about it - if your wife said - sorry darling - but it's me or the guitar(s) - what would the decision be? Be honest - no one liners or cheap gags - what on earth would you do?

  For the record - I would try to negotiate - " ok sweety - you win - the two Strats will go, the Jackson will go, and - it hurts me so much - but the Montana Gold J200 will go as well. (Please Lord - she knows not of the 6120DSW!)
• 

  • Rated: 49 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 11:54 a.m. Ratrod:

  • Guitars don't get pregnant.
    • You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
    • Guitars don't have parents.
    • Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
    • You can share your Guitar with your friends.
    • Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
    • Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
    • Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
    • Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
    • You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
    • If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
    • Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
    • Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
    • You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
    • If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
    • You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
    • You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
    • Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
    • Guitars don't get headaches.
    • Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
    • Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
    • Guitars don't care if you're late.
    • You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
    • If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
    • You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
    • The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
    • When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

  and last, but not least:

  * If you decide to part with an old Guitar, you don't have to give up half of everything you own.
  
• 

  • Rated: 49 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 11:56 a.m. Ratrod:

  For the ladies:

  Why guitars are better than men.

  *  Guitars don't work late.
  * Your Guitar stays as clean as you want it to.
  * Guitars don't have parents or kids.
  * Guitars don't get sick.
  * Guitars don't get overweight, unless you like the Jumbo style.
  * If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
  * Your Guitar always has time for you.
  * Guitars don't watch TV.
  * Guitars never need a shave, nor do they have hair on their backs.
  * Guitars don't snore.
  * Guitars don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
  * If you don't like the length of your Guitar's appendage you can get a new one.
  * You can try out as many Guitars as you like before you get your own.
  * You don't have to feed your Guitar.
  * Guitars never argue, you are always right.
  * Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
  * Guitars never try to show you off to their friends.
  * Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars.
  * Guitars don't sneak around with other Guitars.
  * Guitars don't care what you look like or what your age is.
  * Guitars don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
  * Guitars don't care if you have to work late.
  * When you're playing, your Guitar doesn't care if other Guitars are bigger or better.
  * Guitars don't care about their performance.
  * Guitars don't get you pregnant.
  * Guitars don't have mothers.
  * When you've finished playing, you can put it away.
  * You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it.
  * Guitars don't sulk.
  * Guitars don't bore you.
  * Guitars don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players.
  * Guitars don't have to prove anything.
  * Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them.
  * Guitars don't get jealous of your male colleagues.
  * Guitars never interrogate you.
  * Second-hand Guitars don't brag about previous owners.
  * Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town.
  * You don't have to explain to a Guitar if you don't feel like playing tonight.
  * Guitars never put you down, yet you can put them down whenever you wish.
  * Guitars don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
  * Guitars don't have egos.
  * Guitars don't need remote control units.
  * When you're lost you don't have to argue with your Guitar about stopping to ask the band for directions.
  * When your Guitar is being played too slow, you can speed up.
  * When you need someone to play with, your Guitar is happy to accomodate.
  * You buy the tools your Guitar needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
  * You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right.
  * You determine the length and frequency of playing, and you're always in control.
  * Your Guitar never finishes before you do.
  * Your Guitar doesn't complain about your going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at home with it.
  * You never get helpful suggestions from your Guitar's mother.
  * Your Guitars will allow you to play it even on Super Bowl Sunday.
  * Your Guitar never complains if you put on a few pounds.
  * When your Guitar is dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and knowthat it can be fixed).
  * Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar.
  * Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard.
  

  and last, but not least:

  * Your Guitar will never turn into a beer bellied blob of wood and metal on the couch in front of the TV.
  
• 

  • Rated: 18 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 1:38 p.m. Thomas:

  I'd still pick a nice girl over any guitar any day though.. Crap, those are just the hormones speaking..
• 

  • Rated: 13 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 2:27 p.m. Catdaddy1967:

  Hey, Bernw, if I had to choose... let's just say, I'm divorced (my decision!), I cook, I do laundry, I look after my own kids 13 days out of 14... Do I actually NEED a woman? But... I really appreciate all the different sounds that each one of my guitars gives me...

  And Ratrod, love your lists!
• 

  • Rated: 34 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 2:56 p.m. crowbone:

  For better or worse, I'll play Devil's advocate:

  Women are essential to us and here's why -

  How many of us picked up a guitar because of a woman?

  Well, it wasn't one woman, but I heard you could get chicks if you could play. Yeah, it was Beatles & Stones too, but never under estimate the power of lust as a source for ambition to improve one's ability to impress the ladies.

  How many of us write songs about women?

  Not all of me tunes are about girls, but the vast, overwhelming majority of them are.

  I'm not alone here, am I?

  I thought not.
• 

  • Rated: 19 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 2:59 p.m. DangerousMan:

  I did it for the chicks. It still hasn't worked. Balls.
• 

  • Rated: 18 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 3:31 p.m. Thomas:

  I'm doing it for the chicks, hasn't really payed of though..
• 

  • Rated: 22 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 3:36 p.m. Boyko:

  I've noticed that the type of girls I attract because of my guitar playing are the ones who give me the most trouble. Therefore, I've stopped bragging about playing guitar, being in a band, recording on a CD, etc. at parties to "get chicks".
• 

  • Rated: 11 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 6:14 p.m. SJB66:

  Thomas said: I'd still pick a nice girl over any guitar any day though.. Crap, those are just the hormones speaking..

  Thomas, I thought that was what I had done,..boy did I pick the wrong one. you never know someone until you live with them. I'll never make that mistake again. After 11 years I am divorced and could never be happier. Karl
• 

  • Rated: 66 ↑

  Oct 5, 2008 8:01 p.m. Walter Broes:

  I like, love, adore women. A whole lot more than I like this thread!
• 

  • Rated: 5 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 1:05 a.m. fbama73:

  If you make your guitar cry, it won't call you an asshole!
• 

  • Rated: 21 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 9:34 a.m. GentlBen:

  Guitars don't chop off your penis while you are sleeping.
• 

  • Rated: 73 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 9:40 a.m. sassy:

  You guys are crackin' me up
• 

  • Rated: 41 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 9:50 a.m. J(esse James)D:

  Guitars and Women................reason enough for a "country boy" to sing the "Blues"
• 

  • Rated: 49 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 10:41 a.m. Ratrod:

  GentlBen said: Guitars don't chop off your penis while you are sleeping.

  A guitar will take your eye out if you pull to hard on the G-string.
• 

  • Rated: 13 ↑

  Oct 6, 2008 10:47 a.m. Catdaddy1967:

  Ratrod said: A guitar will take your eye out if you pull to hard on the G-string

  I know women who would probably do exactly the same thing!

• Articles
• Contact
• Site Map
• Store
• Radio

© Tim Baxter/APT Group 2006. Gretschpages.com is not affiliated with the Gretsch Guitar company. Powered by Django.