Well OK then, since it's just speculation: I figure that if a big dude was raising a chair over his head and was about to lower the boom on my poor melon: then I might feel justified in applying that forked aluminum Kramer headstock by sliding it behind his patella and giving the guitar a little twist.
Lynyrd Skynyrd could make a song about that except they'd prolly change "patella" to "kneecap."
that was one nice thing about playing to people who were stoned on acid...you generally didn't have to worry about them punching you.
If the venue is roomy enough and the ceiling high enough, you could also use a Fender J- or P-bass.
Longer range than the Tele.
dubkitty said: that was one nice thing about playing to people who were stoned on acid...you generally didn't have to worry about them punching you.
I played to folks like that and at first I couldn't tell whether they were trying to punch us, or it they were having flashbacks. After talking to many of them, I had to assume they were having flashbacks...
I found that the overly frequent twitching, "fanny-packs" overflowing with TOPS rolling papers, frequency of those goofy-ass Dr. Seuss hats and "Cheetoes" debris infested beards kind of gave it away.
Mr. T said: Is committing a felony ADW on some drunken idiot by hitting him in the head with a telecaster really that enjoyable for you guys?I would of course draw my Sig Sauer P239 from my 3 o'clock IWB and execute a perfect Mozambique drill using 124gr Speer Gold Dot 9mm +p JHP, duh.
Or a Jazz Bass, whatever's handy.
Sorry for my earlier comment it was meant to be more philosophical than political. It was written with haste but this ain't the thread for any of that. 
TwangOmatic: said: Sorry for my earlier comment it was meant to be more philosophical than political. It was written with haste but this ain't the thread for any of that.
aw no harm done !
you say whatever feel like
For the record, after seeing how keef handled the stage invader, then went back to riffing like nothing happened, and from past experiences from you lot, I recon i'd go with the tele.
The Kramer axe looks fun too
and you could have someones eye out with those BC rich guitars.
the wancaster would indeed fend off any would be assailants.
maybe a ropey old acoustic would be the most satysfying as it would break up around your opponants head. (im thinking of the folk guitarist scene in animal house)
A more civilized, utilitarian, less cartoony Kramer.
Of course Kramer spent most of the 80s and part of the 90s dumbing down into silliness, but the first Kramers were great guitars. They oughter get more respect!
i wonder if your aluminum-fab dude could do a Travis Bean neck?
Dignan said: I would of course draw my Sig Sauer P239
Nice gun.
I liked that choice too i have a P220.
I must admit my earlier post was made in jest; I would never draw a gun in such a situation.
(I wouldn't want to add it to some gluttonous evidence-room clerk's personal collection.) 
I'll take my 230 grain JHP's thanks. Para P-13 for dispensing them.
Only thing is that you have to be VERY well trained in both HOW to use and WHEN to use.
Trust me when I say that being in a confrontational situation while armed can be VERY scary
I don't know if the 9mm is going to cut it for a charging drunken 200lbs guy. Especially when you're trying to draw with a guitar hanging around you.
I'd have to go with a 1911 with something more to the tune of a 230gr. If anything, you can just club the fool with the 3 pounds of steel that is that weapon. The JHP was a nice touch though, but I just plain don't care for sigs...
Or a P-Bass...
Real answer to the real thread - Tele, the Glock of guitars: Simple, Reliable, Uglier than sin's own cornhole.
Hoo boy, we are definitely running the risk of offending our gentler friends. To make up for it, I promise to give my kittycats the good canned stuff and let them sleep indoors tonight.
Haha, yeah... Maybe we should just stick to guitars and leave the tactical fun for another day. Sometimes I forget what's appropriate where...
Guitars are about the limit of our phallic symbol threshold.
About one minute into this there is a compelling argument for the strat. Plus it's a little interesting.
THAT is a fine little documentary there. It ought to get its own thread and not be buried in this violent little ghetto...
I kinda remember a TV show cartoon as a child.... with a beagle dog Sheriff... with a guitar that he would crush over the head of some bastard hellian criminal...
QUICK DRAW McGRAW!!!!
"EL KABONG"
Are we subliminally regressing to an earlier childhood state?
Or is the guitar the perfect weapon of choice?
Modern gunslingers use guitars as a weapon, but as they play 'em!
Despite all comers...only Jimi Hendrix is a guitar gunslinger.
High Noon means death. Or was it MidNight?
The guy in that Fender clip justified why you should always use a Tele in a barroom brawl incident - a Strat might go out of tune. But look at the clip of Keef earlier in the thread and all he has to do is make sure the volume and pickup are set! 
Proteus, this is certainly a violent little ghetto, but I found that the brief mention of our illustrious topic herein was worthy of the link. If I would have started a new topic for it, then the catastrophe that is this thread might very well bleed into that one, and then beyond.
As far as all this "guitar gunslinger" business goes, there is one prime example of excellence; the film "Six String Samurai". If anyone else here has seen that... I'm sorry. Actually, everyone here should watch that! It's...amazing.
Baba Looey!
