Loud never was better for me. So I'm not part of the, "we," portion of the thread title.
Dynamics, musicality, were and are where it is at.
When I was a young/mid teen, I was learning from Wes, Grant Green, Billy Butler, Hank Garland, constellations of jazz players of a variety of instruments, along with the billies country and rocka, blues, soul, '50s rock and R&B (about the loudest it got, and even then I toned it down, learned as much or more from sax players as guitar players), world musics. Koto player Kimio Eto was a huge influence and teacher in subtleties, dynamics. Some extremely tasty renditions/interpretations of some of the works of Agustin Lara very important in early learning.
Classical always important. In later years when I didn't play a lick, western classical (along with some world musics) was what I listened to.
If I were to look for a drummer this very day, such would be tested by ability to work brushes on a snare as first hurdle.
I really am more a jazzer, and my own peculiar variations at that, when it gets down to it. The rock recordings are just that, rock recordings.